Nonsense
So yesterday I was pretty busy, but decided for a Monday at work I could still enjoy myself. I decided to speak in complete nonsense through the IM at work. Poor Rich, — the victim of my comments– he finally gave up and left me alone after coffee shot out of his nose. Here is a collection of the nonsense — be they metaphors, idioms or axioms.
“Don’t blanch your marbles until you have a spittoon to roast them in.”
“If Moses hadn’t come down from the mountain you’d still be eating turnip and cream cheese sandwiches with the Pope.”
“If you ignore the effluvia of daily life you miss the marshmallow goodness in the middle.”
“You can’t translate ‘ick’ into ‘ug’ without breaking all the eggs in the elevator”.
“My Snoop ate my Dogg and his tail is made of gummy worms.”
“Human factors are the elephant whose trunk is red and bouyant.”
“Code is but a rhombus with an eggroll dipped in wasabi”
“A nose cannot think like coffee. Does not a flower smell like Cinnabon?”
“Your Uncle was a goose pimple on the tongue of delight.”
“And he cast out his net like a fisherman dances ballet.”
“A wire can’t cut cheese like a potato can churn butter.”
“Watered bottles are the karma for fringe-thinkers”
“His armor is as chinked as his humor is floundery”
“Exponential negatives only add up to mud and grassy vowels.”
“His depravaties were what made him a cushion for the toad.”
“Blankets are for pimples. A true regret will shine like a battle cry”
